CONSTANT CHANGE

I'm wearing my high school uniform now as I'm writing this entry. I was looking at my photobooth pictures on my laptop and it's very nice to look back and realize how much things has changed. The oldest pictures on my laptop was 5 years ago and I was second year high school that time. I have pictures with my friends, classmates, with my mom, and a decent amount of selfies. I'm really glad that I go through my old pictures, it's an effective way to distract myself from all the things that's bugging me.

It amazes me and somewhat scares me that everything are really meant to change. I can't even believe that I look different now. I mean, of course my face is supposed to change but I guess we won't notice how much we have changed if we won't look back or unless we look at our old pictures. I don't know about you guys but seeing how much I have changed for the past 5 years scares me. I can't help but wonder how things will turn out 3,5,10 years from now. 5 year ago I never would I have imagine that I will be who I am today. I never expected things to turn out this way. All the things that I planned for myself before didn't happen. If I know that things will happen the way it did I should have prepared myself for it. Again, no regrets, but I wish I never took things for granted.

I'm twenty now and all I can say is life is an unpredictable journey that forces us to change and adapt on things that it would throw our way. We can't expect good days unless we haven't go through a bad one. We won't know what real happiness is unless we have experience what it feels to be broken. We wouldn't know what success feels like unless we push ourselves and experience failure. We will never know what life is if we are afraid to live. Because even if we wish to take a break from reality, we can't. Wether we like it or not, days will pass, so we need to keep up with time and live life to the fullest. We should be prepared for the constant changes and enjoy what we have now. Because everything will pass, and let's be honest, whether we're going through a rough time right now or if we're having the best time of our life, it would be always fun to have a great memory to look back.

Ok... everything that I have written are the things that I want to say to myself. lol. I never pushed myself to my limit. I'm still living inside my comfort zone, and I'm scared to take a risk. But I've come to realize that the only thing that I should be frightened of is the moment I look back years from now and realize that I never really enjoyed life because I was afraid to take a chance. So I would like to take baby steps to achieve my hidden desires in life. I wish soon I can share here on my blog how I took a leap, how I conquered my fears and fulfill my dreams with the help of our Almighty Father.

That's it for now.
With love,
Klaire

Change is Bound to Happen

I was browsing my pictures on my laptop just a few moments ago and I can't help but smile to myself because I cannot believe the numbers of selfies I've taken years ago. haha! I can't help but notice how much I've changed these years. Not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. It's so amazing how much photos can bring back memories and how it can help you realize how much blessing you've received all these years of your life.

I know that I have change a lot, especially these last 2 years - it was the turning point of my life. The amount of experiences I never thought I would encounter - the gallons of tears I've shed, thousands of prayer I've convey, the numbers of time I was on my knees, from experiencing all the stages of grief, and a lot more - never did I imagined that from these experiences I was able to build a strong relationship. The relationship I wouldn't trade anything for. The relationship I would forever cherish. My own relationship goal - It's my relationship with God. I've survived my gloomy days because it was His hand that I've seen through the greatest scheme of things. It was Him who gave me strength and who helped me get up when I was on my knees. It was Him who showed me that there's no such thing as 'bad life'. It was Him who gave me the courage to smile and look forward to future. It was Him who gave me wisdom and brings hope to my life.

Were these last 2 years the worst years of my life? To be honest, no. It was indeed different and unexpected but those were the years I get to know God and myself. It was the time I discovered who I really am and how much I'm capable of handling this so called 'life'. If I am given a chance to re-write anything that I want to change, I wouldn't alter anything. From my point of view it may not be the "perfect" scenario, or the "perfect" life that I was hoping, but without all these experiences I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm not perfect. I will never be perfect, no one can be anyway, but I'm proud to say that I don't regret anything. I learned to see the goodness in life. I learned to realized HOW MUCH blessings God is giving me everyday. I wouldn't ask for more. Everything I have is enough and maybe even more than enough. I will forever lift up my hands to Him and praise Him. Just like what I'm saying every time I talk to God: Lord, I accept you as my savior, you're the reason why we're here, please have your way in me, I fully surrender myself to you.

"Should I even be surprised that you're with me in disguise, for it's your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things" - Pilgrim's Theme