I know that I have change a lot, especially these last 2 years - it was the turning point of my life. The amount of experiences I never thought I would encounter - the gallons of tears I've shed, thousands of prayer I've convey, the numbers of time I was on my knees, from experiencing all the stages of grief, and a lot more - never did I imagined that from these experiences I was able to build a strong relationship. The relationship I wouldn't trade anything for. The relationship I would forever cherish. My own relationship goal - It's my relationship with God. I've survived my gloomy days because it was His hand that I've seen through the greatest scheme of things. It was Him who gave me strength and who helped me get up when I was on my knees. It was Him who showed me that there's no such thing as 'bad life'. It was Him who gave me the courage to smile and look forward to future. It was Him who gave me wisdom and brings hope to my life.
Were these last 2 years the worst years of my life? To be honest, no. It was indeed different and unexpected but those were the years I get to know God and myself. It was the time I discovered who I really am and how much I'm capable of handling this so called 'life'. If I am given a chance to re-write anything that I want to change, I wouldn't alter anything. From my point of view it may not be the "perfect" scenario, or the "perfect" life that I was hoping, but without all these experiences I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm not perfect. I will never be perfect, no one can be anyway, but I'm proud to say that I don't regret anything. I learned to see the goodness in life. I learned to realized HOW MUCH blessings God is giving me everyday. I wouldn't ask for more. Everything I have is enough and maybe even more than enough. I will forever lift up my hands to Him and praise Him. Just like what I'm saying every time I talk to God: Lord, I accept you as my savior, you're the reason why we're here, please have your way in me, I fully surrender myself to you.
"Should I even be surprised that you're with me in disguise, for it's your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things" - Pilgrim's Theme